WD-40

Ginnunga Gap Polytechnic is undoubtedly the best faux institution of higher education that never existed. You can earn a Wonderment Diploma from Ginnunga Gap’s Mechatronics and Robotics program (WD-40)! The program will start in January 2018 and run for two years until December 2019. It is available at the Unit One work space in Ginnunga Gap, otherwise known as Vangshylla.

There will be two participation levels, superficial and exhaustive.

Superficial is designed for people who simply want an overview of the field of mechatronics and robotics.

Exhaustive is at the other extreme, with time devoted to solving problems, theoretical as well as practical.

Even if a Wonderment Diploma isn’t worth the paper it’s printed on, the education on offer will, at the exhaustive level, be as close as possible to a clone of the mechatronics and robotics program offered at the British Columbia Institute of Technology. Given the opportunity to study at BCIT in Burnaby, you will undoubtedly receive a better education there than you will get at Ginnunga Gap. However, if you are unfortunate enough to be stuck in Greater Ginnunga Gap, and lack the funds to pay international tuition fees, the education offered by Ginnunga Gap Polytechnic may be good enough.

The following description of the Mechatronics and Robotics program is a ruthless plagiarism of BCIT’s promotional materials.

WD-40 will provide you with insights into a world where mechanical products contain computers and electronics for monitoring or control. This integration of mechanical and electronic components (mechatronics) makes it possible to design intelligent, reliable, versatile electromechanical systems such as industrial robots, medical devices, aircraft simulators, automated assembly lines, building control systems, and autonomous vehicles.

Mechatronics
(Image: Florida State University)

THE PROGRAM

The Mechatronics and Robotics program at Marmot University focuses on the automation of electromechanical devices and the application of robotic manipulators. You’ll receive hands-on, interdisciplinary training in:

  • Programmable logic control
  • Microcontrollers and electronics
  • Computer Aided Design (CAD)
  • Mechanical Systems
  • Computer and Robot Programming
  • Interfacing Sensors and Activators

The Mechatronics and Robotics program can open many doors. It will provide an advanced education in electromechanical systems and give the benefit of small
class sizes so you can master complex topics by taking advantage of the one-on-one time with instructors. After two years you will earn a wonderment diploma and have the skills to make a good living.

JOB OPPORTUNITIES

Mechatronics and robotics gives many interesting job possibilities. Because it is multidisciplinary, it also prepares for leadership roles in the design and creation of innovative mechatronics products for a variety of applications, including designing
and building automated equipment for the movie industry, medical devices,
production equipment, or submarines.

Here is what we will be working on:

Level 1 (15 weeks) Credits
COMM 11 Technical Writing 1 for Robotics 3.0
ELEX 11 DC Circuit Analysis for Robotics 6.0
ELEX 12 Digital Techniques 1 for Robotics 6.0
MATH 11 Technical Math for Robotics 6.0
MECH 11 Computer Aided Design 4.0
PHYS 11 Physics for Robotics 1 5.0
Level 2 (20 weeks) Credits
ELEX 21 AC Circuits for Robotics 6.5
ELEX 22 Digital and Electronic Circuits 8.0
MATH 21 Calculus for Robotics 8.0
MECH 12 Manufacturing Processes 5.5
PHYS 21 Applied Physics 2 for Robotics 6.5
ROBT 11 C Programming 6.5
Level 3 (15 weeks) Credits
ELEX 31 Electronics Circuits 2 (Robotics) 6.0
MATH 31 Transform Calculus (Robotics) 4.0
MECH 31 Fluid Power 1 4.0
ROBT 31 Robot Applications 6.0
ROBT 32 Automation Equipment 5.0
ROBT 33 Controller Systems 6.0
Level 4 (20 weeks) Credits
COMM 21 Technical Writing 2 for Robotics 4.0
ELEX 41 Feedback Systems 8.0
MECH 00 Ethics for Technologists 0.0
MECH 41 Fluid Power 2 4.0
OPMT 11 Industrial Engineering 5.5
ROBT 41 Sensor Interfacing 8.0
ROBT 42 PLC Applications 4.0
ROBT 43 Mechatronics Project 6.5
Total Credits: 142.0

While it is a long time before students will be working on their Mechatronics Project, Unit One is looking for opportunities to make devices capable of monitoring the marine environment in Skarnsund and Børgin, in cooperation with the local chapter of Friends of the Earth.

While Ginnunga Gap Polytechnic has fake application forms, and mock procedures to select students, the best way to come on board is to speak directly to one of the phony personas at Unit One.

PS. Your bogus Wonderment Diploma will be printed in A3 format. Its massive size should intimidate friend and foe alike.

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