Month: October 2017

Manufacturers of penetrating oil like to speak in code. The name WD-40, for example, refers to Water Displacement, 40th formula. It was developed in 1953, by the Rocket Chemical Company to protect the paper-thin outer skin of the balloon tanks on Atlas missiles from rust and corrosion. AV0-19 is another code, referring to Acetone – Vegetable Oil in a ratio of 1 to 9, respectively.

Even though I have been a devoted user of WD-40, I have probably purchased my last container. The reason being is that scientific tests indicate that AVO-19 is a superior product. See: https://www.engineeringforchange.org/how-to-make-penetrating-oil/

The optimal mixture is 10% acetone with 90% vegetable oil. It uses less than 55% of the torque to free rusted bolts as WD-40. It costs about 15% of the price of WD-40. While not as effective as the 1 to 9 ratio, and considerably more expensive, a 30 percent acetone mixture still works better than WD-40.

Engineering students at Drexel University, under the direction of Alex Moseson, conducted comparison tests of vegetable oil mixtures, WD-40 and automatic transmission fluid. Here are some of the results.

Adam Davies, looked at the overuse of WD-40 in 2010: http://www.popularmechanics.com/cars/how-to/a6064/wd-40-vs-the-world-of-lubricants/

He discovered that WD-40 was second best (or worse) in several important areas. PB Blaster is best at loosening rusted nuts or bolts; Marvel Mystery Oil is best at freeing up rusted compression rings; Finish Line Cross Country is best at lubricating and protecting bicycle chains; while, Permatex White Lithium Grease is best at silencing squeaky door hinges.

Once their workshop is in operation, Unit One will be making its first batch of AVO-19. If you would like some, contact a persona at Unit One.

Ginnunga Gap Polytechnic is undoubtedly the best faux institution of higher education that never existed. You can earn a Wonderment Diploma from Ginnunga Gap’s Mechatronics and Robotics program (WD-40)! The program will start in January 2018 and run for two years until December 2019. It is available at the Unit One work space in Ginnunga Gap, otherwise known as Vangshylla.

There will be two participation levels, superficial and exhaustive.

Superficial is designed for people who simply want an overview of the field of mechatronics and robotics.

Exhaustive is at the other extreme, with time devoted to solving problems, theoretical as well as practical.

Even if a Wonderment Diploma isn’t worth the paper it’s printed on, the education on offer will, at the exhaustive level, be as close as possible to a clone of the mechatronics and robotics program offered at the British Columbia Institute of Technology. Given the opportunity to study at BCIT in Burnaby, you will undoubtedly receive a better education there than you will get at Ginnunga Gap. However, if you are unfortunate enough to be stuck in Greater Ginnunga Gap, and lack the funds to pay international tuition fees, the education offered by Ginnunga Gap Polytechnic may be good enough.

The following description of the Mechatronics and Robotics program is a ruthless plagiarism of BCIT’s promotional materials.

WD-40 will provide you with insights into a world where mechanical products contain computers and electronics for monitoring or control. This integration of mechanical and electronic components (mechatronics) makes it possible to design intelligent, reliable, versatile electromechanical systems such as industrial robots, medical devices, aircraft simulators, automated assembly lines, building control systems, and autonomous vehicles.

THE PROGRAM

The Mechatronics and Robotics program at Marmot University focuses on the automation of electromechanical devices and the application of robotic manipulators. You’ll receive hands-on, interdisciplinary training in:

• Programmable logic control
• Microcontrollers and electronics
• Computer Aided Design (CAD)
• Mechanical Systems
• Computer and Robot Programming
• Interfacing Sensors and Activators

The Mechatronics and Robotics program can open many doors. It will provide an advanced education in electromechanical systems and give the benefit of small
class sizes so you can master complex topics by taking advantage of the one-on-one time with instructors. After two years you will earn a wonderment diploma and have the skills to make a good living.

JOB OPPORTUNITIES

Mechatronics and robotics gives many interesting job possibilities. Because it is multidisciplinary, it also prepares for leadership roles in the design and creation of innovative mechatronics products for a variety of applications, including designing
and building automated equipment for the movie industry, medical devices,
production equipment, or submarines.

Here is what we will be working on:

While it is a long time before students will be working on their Mechatronics Project, Unit One is looking for opportunities to make devices capable of monitoring the marine environment in Skarnsund and Børgin, in cooperation with the local chapter of Friends of the Earth.

While Ginnunga Gap Polytechnic has fake application forms, and mock procedures to select students, the best way to come on board is to speak directly to one of the phony personas at Unit One.

PS. Your bogus Wonderment Diploma will be printed in A3 format. Its massive size should intimidate friend and foe alike.